The Never-ending Story

Well, you already knew that Ann "Funny Gal" Coulter doesn't limit her, um, sense of humor to political figures like John Edwards; she's perfectly happy to spread the sunshine to 9/11 widows , gays and Arabs.

Make no mistake, though -- she is a deeply religious woman. Interviewed while promoting her book Godless, she had this observation:

Although my Christianity is somewhat more explicit in this book, Christianity fuels everything I write. Being a Christian means that I am called upon to do battle against lies, injustice, cruelty, hypocrisy—you know, all the virtues in the church of liberalism. As St. Paul said, if Christ is not risen from the dead, then eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die.

Wow! Who knew that AC was so highly qualified to judge how truly Christian Christians are? (Especially someone who quotes St. Paul when it's actually Isaiah 22:13... but more on this in a minute.)

Lest you think her narrow-minded on the God front, she included this footnote in her book:

"Throughout this book, I often refer to Christians and Christianity because I am a Christian and I have a fairly good idea of what they believe, but the term is intended to include anyone who subscribes to the Bible of the God of Abraham, including Jews and others."

In fact, Ms. Coulter is so fully-informed about matters theological that she was able to take this concept a little step further. Earlier this week, she produced this warm, loving bit o' religious insight:

Appearing on Donny Deutsch's CNBC show, "The Big Idea," on Monday night, columnist/author Ann Coulter suggested that the U.S. would be a better place if there weren't any Jewish people and that they needed to "perfect" themselves into -- Christians.

[skip]

DEUTSCH: That isn't what I said, but you said I should not-- we should just throw Judaism away and we should all be Christians, then, or --

COULTER:
Yeah.

DEUTSCH: Really?

COULTER: Well, it's a lot easier. It's kind of a fast track.

DEUTSCH: Really?

COULTER: Yeah. You have to obey.

DEUTSCH: You can't possibly believe that.

COULTER: Yes.

DEUTSCH: You can't possibly -- you're too educated, you can't -- you're like my friend in --

COULTER: Do you know what Christianity is? We believe your religion, but you have to obey.

DEUTSCH: No, no, no, but I mean --

COULTER: We have the fast-track program.

Oh. Well, THAT clears things up! One of the world's great religions is apparently the equivalent of of Betamax, and another has powers analogous to those of the U.S. Trade Representative. Makes me feel all warm & fuzzy inside.

It may also explain AC's attribution of the "eat, drink & be merry" quote to St. Paul rather than Isaiah. Those Old Testament patriarchs were god-fearing and all that, but being Jewish they were, um, "imperfect." Yep, Ann clearly has the flexibility and iron will needed by any Public Christian to deal with all realities that doesn't conform to her standards. Plus, she's a laugh riot! Yay!