When I first heard about the website dedicated to boycotting anything Alabama due to Republican Sen. Richard Shelby's un-American attack on domestic auto makers in favor of foreign ones, I thought it was a great idea.
But when I went to the site, I didn't find a list of items that we're not supposed to buy.
So as a public service, I decided to compile my own list of things made in Alabama that we here in Michigan should avoid buying in order to punish Shelby.
At the top of the list, of course, is any vehicle made by one of the companies Shelby's state subsidizes. I crossed those off my shopping list years ago. Especially anything German-made. My father had the pleasure of German hospitality during World War II, which was assisted by the likes of Mercedes-Benz. So for me it's always been thanks but no thanks to one of their vehicles ever.
And as for travel in Alabama, I mean seriously, why would you?
I was fresh out of info for what else involving Alabama I could boycott so I turned to the internets where I found -- sauces. Apparently Alabama is big on hot sauces and barbecue sauces. Since I've never heard of any of the brands, this will not be a problem.
Then there are marinades and honey, again sold under brands I've never heard of. Still not a problem.
Again scouring the internets, I found a product map which shows what else Alabama produces -- cotton, corn, and hogs. Lots of 21st century cutting-edge innovation involved in those products. All are commodities -- hard to tell one ear of corn from another once its gets into the stream of commerce. So that's basically out.
Just when I had despaired of finding anything Alabama to avoid, ESPN's Bowl Mania came to my rescue.
Alabama football! I'll root against Alabama in the whatever bowl. I'll do a novena for Utah in the Sugar Bowl. I'll wear a Utes jersey and sing the Utes fight song and have a bowl party for every Ute fan I can find.
And I'll look forward to a matchup between Alabama and Michigan State or U of M someday soon.
I wish I could do more, but every little bit helps.
2 comments:
I understand your anger toward the Alabama senator. But your rant while clever is juvenile and inaccurate.
Alabama is a beautiful state. There are many wooded and hilly areas that are near heaven for outdoors types. The south side of the state has a short Gulf shore as well.
I'm sure you didn't like a lot of things that Gov. Engler did. Did you boycott Michigan during those days?
But...I will join you in rooting for Utah.
I am well aware that Alabama has a Gulf shore. I think Michigan residents have bailed it out a few times from hurricanes.
And maybe we shouldn't boycott the state. Instead, when we lose our jobs, I think we should all move to Alabama and go on welfare.
I'm sure Senator Shelby would welcome us with open arms.
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