Yi-ha Turd Blossom!

So Karl Rove is coming to Livingston County to talk to Republicans. Welcome, Karl!

I'm glad to hear you are coming to remind Michigan of all the good times under George Bush. You know, how he read the memo about Al Qaeda planning to attack the U.S. and ignored it a month before 9/11. Yeah, those were the days. Then there was the U.S. Attorney scandal, when federal prosecutors were fired because they didn't prosecute Democrats with significant zeal. What a great moment in American democracy! Oh yes, then there was the Valerie Plame scandal. Who could forget that triumph over tyranny? Leaking the name of a CIA agent to the media so that her mission was destroyed and the lives of all her contacts put in jeopardy. Boy, we haven't seen leadership like that lately.

That's just the domestic side. My gosh, I hope Americans never forget The Bush-Rove administration's accomplishments in foreign affairs. Those phony claims about Iraq's WMD's were absolutely essential to starting an unnecessary, unfunded war in Iraq that we're still paying the price (read that "borrowing the money") for. And the way you guys turned Gen. Colin Powell into a pimp for the big lie, what great TV that is for future generations.

And saving the best for last, how about that September 2008 financial scandal? Absolutely fantastic! Not very many presidents can claim to have presided over the near collapse of the world's financial system. I'll bet you have some great "fly-on-the-wall" memories from those heady days that I hope you'll share with the audience. Be sure to remind everybody that the multi-billion-dollar Wall Street bailout that everybody is so upset about happened under Bush. Those tea-baggers have such short memories, don't they?

Wow, I almost forgot. One other thing I really hope you'll do, Karl, is remind everybody about how the deficit really exploded under George. A lot of people forget how he inherited a budget surplus from Democratic President Bill Clinton and then proceded to turn it into
a $5 trillion dollar deficit. Let's not give all the credit to that Kenyan in the White House.

With so much to talk about and so many great memories to re-live, I really think Michigan residents are going to need more than just a little after dinner speech. So I think it's great that they'll get a free copy of your book just for showing up. That way, you can claim phony book sale figures that are lots higher than if people had to actually shell out money for it.

I do hope you'll come back real soon! Like in October 2012, just so people won't forget how great things were in the Golden Age of George.